


moth

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, But also, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, a bit of fluff bc its me and i cant resist, a lot of smut, businessman kihyun, hoseok pines a lot, kihyun's kinda an ass sometimes, slow slow burn, so slow, tattooist hoseok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “That hardly matters to you does it?”“Meaning?”“Come on now Hoseok, let’s not play games with each other.”*****in which hoseok is sort of an escort, kihyun takes an interest in him and everything goes to shit from there





	moth

Hoseok supposed it always ended like this.

Sprawled on a foreign bed, completely spent, hand covering his eyes in shame as he waited for the person to leave. Always, they moved slowly, taking their time to gather their stuff, and on rare occasions, attempting to _talk_ to him while they did. He waited until he heard the soft click on the door before getting up slowly, and retrieving his discarded clothes. Fucking random strangers; living in a moment where his thoughts didn’t coil around his head and suffocate him always seemed like a great decision the night before. He loved the attention, _craved_ feeling their touch as they caressed his thigh and offered to buy him a drink. Called him pretty, beautiful, gorgeous. Anything to soften him up before they inevitably invited him back to their hotel rooms, fingers tugging at his clothes before they even reached the bedroom.

The formula was always the same from then. They’d tell him to close his eyes, or sometimes provided the blindfold. Then they’d take him, do whatever they pleased and Hoseok would lay, stoic and responsive when he needed to be. Sometimes, the braver of them would grab him roughly, bring his face up to theirs and kiss him, all wet tongues and bad breath and Hoseok would try not to gag. Then when they were finished, when they’d possibly taken everything they could from him, they’d leave. Back to their wives, their girlfriends, back to pretending to society that they weren’t just fucking a man in a hotel far from home.

Hoseok always found the money they left behind on the left bedside table.

They were all the same, vipers and leeches hunting for more, more than their wives and girlfriends gave them, more than their cosy suburban life and their array of wealth offered them. Hoseok hated them, hated their smirks and over confident aura. Hated how they changed when they were with him, how they gained the confidence they otherwise wouldn’t have were they with their wives and girlfriends. Hated that despite it all, he was _just_ like them. He was just like the vipers and leeches hunting for more, he wanted to escape too. Fly away on a hot air balloon that never came down, feel the clouds beneath his fingertips, watched the insignificant world down below.

They were all the same.

But really.

So was Hoseok.

*********

Queens always looked pretty in the rain, Hoseok thought. The water glistering down on the vibrant buildings, whilst the sunlight draped over the city, casting a rainbow over the horizon. Buses and taxis mixed together in a colourful frenzy, hastily picking up passengers and people rushed in an attempt to hurry home and protect themselves from the rain. Today was like that. The rain had started early in the morning, battering down on the roof of Hoseok’s apartment, strong enough to rouse him from his sleep. He had skipped breakfast, hastily throwing on a thick, black jumper and black jeans. He wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck as he walked. Despite the chill and the rain beating down on him, he felt at peace.  It was rare for him to feel at peace. Usually, the thoughts came in abundance, wrapped around him tight and didn’t let go despite how desperately he tried to shake them off. Today though, with his mocha in his gloved hand and the rain splattering down, he felt at ease.

Sure, his thighs hurt from where an unusual client had roughly marked them yesterday, and yes his face still stung from the slaps that the same client had given him. But that hardly mattered. He was used to it. Used to the ones that felt particularly brave when they were with him, an animalistic instinct coming out of them. They were usually the worst ones, the ones that pulled on his candy cotton pink hair with fervour, digging their fingernails into his scalp, sometimes choking him, squeezing tears out of his eyes. They were the ones that used him as they pleased, the ones that ignored his cries of protest when the line between pain and pleasure started to blur, the ones that silenced him with the palm of their hands, their satisfaction the only thing that mattered to them at that moment.

Hoseok wondered when his life turned into this-- this double life he lived, constantly seeking and craving validation. Allowing himself to turn into a doll for the usage of gross men, and going back for more, despite the shame he felt every single time.

He glanced down at the beep of his phone and he smiled softly at the name that popped up.

**Heony.**

You almost here?

Customers keep asking for you like you’re the only tattooist to exist in the world.

**Flower on his ass.**

:)

They know what they know.

Almost there.

 

Work though, work brought him a different kind of solace, a different kind of happiness and validation giving himself to strangers never did. He loved putting needle to skin, transforming it forever. He loved the designs customers came in with, the _stories_ behind them. He’d listen attentively as someone would tell him why they wanted a teacup on their collarbone or the names of their lovers etched into their skin forever. He loved spending time, adding the most painstaking detail, putting in the care and effort to ensure the finished product looked good. And when the customers looked at their tattoos; when they smiled at him in excitement, gushed at his skill, promised to come back if they wanted more or promised to recommend him to their friends. He felt content. Happy, like he just made a difference in someone’s life.

And he loved _his_ tattoos, the full sleeve on both arms, depicting various aspects of his life. His mother’s name on his arm, his father’s on the right. His dead brother’s favourite stuffed bunny on his shoulder, the snake that coiled up his left arm all the way to his shoulder. His favourite quotes on his collarbone and on his thigh, the flower on his ass Jooheon never stopped making fun of. He loved them all, loved the stories that they told and the importance they had in his life.

He could see _Pink Lemonade_ as he neared it, a name that Jooheon had creatively picked due to his love of pink lemonade. It was hard not to notice too; it certainly stood out with its all black interior, squashed between two very white stores. The neon pink sign of a jar full of lemonade was turned on and Hoseok could see a regular of his waiting at the front of the store, having a cigarette. He waved as he passed by, entering the store and immediately getting bombarded by Jooheon.

Jooheon was cute with his white, cropped hair and slightly chubby face. His round glasses sat on his nose and his heart shaped lips was currently stretched into a happy smile. Hoseok realised with a grimace, Jooheon would be a hit with Hoseok’s _night_ customers. They usually preferred to fuck the cute ones, the ones with a baby face and innocent wide eyes like Hoseok had. Hoseok had dyed his hair pink in an effort to better match what they were looking for, his muscular body and tattoos always seemed to deter them at first. Not anymore though, now they enjoyed dominating over a muscular guy like Hoseok. Loved the feeling of being in control, having Hoseok beg and plead before them.

“You oversleep again?” Jooheon questioned, raising his eyebrows slightly. “What do you actually _do_ at night that makes you so tired all the time?”

How was Hoseok supposed to tell him, to relieve in detail his whereabouts every night to his best friend? To watch the disappointment that would surely flicker to his face, or worse, pity. That was the one thing Hoseok never wanted, to be pitied. For Jooheon to look at him in a different way if he ever found out. Hoseok _was_ pitiful, he knew. But he also needed this, needed to feel something other than perpetual sadness, to feel euphoric for once and to let go. It was easier to escape the thoughts in his head when he was being fucked.

“You know I’m a light sleeper. Every little thing wakes me up.”

“You really need to move somewhere quieter.”

“Somewhere quieter in Queens?”

“Yeah, never mind. So I have you booked in for two people today.”

Hoseok frowned, “Just two?”

“Yes, Minhyuk’s birthday party is tonight, and since I know you’ve forgotten, I got him a gift on your behalf. You can pay me later.”

“Fuck.”

Jooheon laughed, patting him warmly on the back, “S’okay. I don’t think Minhyuk would hold it against you.”

“Still though. I can’t believe I forgot.”

“You’ve had a lot on your mind, you’re allowed to forget one birthday. Long as it’s not mine.” Jooheon replied, heading off to his work station with a shrug. Hoseok hurried over to his section of the parlour, shrugging off his clothes and stacking them neatly into the cubicle behind him. He loved his section, Jooheon had been kind enough to let him design it himself. Although just a little closed off box with purple paint and his tattoo equipment, Hoseok loved it. Loved the feeling of being inside with his clients, doing what he did best.

His regular came in first, letting Hoseok know he was finally ready to get the dragon tattoo he’d been holding off for a while. Hoseok loved the reasoning behind it, loved watching his eyes light up as he detailed that his son loved dragons and with the tattoo, he’d always have a part of his son with him forever. Hoseok wished for that, a family of his own, a child he could get tattoos in honour of, a child he could love and cherish in a world that didn’t love and cherish him. Maybe he didn’t deserve love though, didn’t deserve the happiness that came with a family. Maybe that was his punishment.

He worked diligently on the small dragon, watched as his regular braved through the process, obviously used to the feeling of being pierced by a needle.

Next, came someone new. A young woman anxiously glancing around, nervous sweat forming on her forehead. She was petite, thick curls framing her face and small eyes darting from here to there. She would have been his brother’s type, he realised with a pain in his chest. He listened attentively to the young woman, _Kiara_ , as she shyly informed him she wanted a flower on her arm. She blushed a little as she said this, barely able to look him in the eyes and Hoseok almost laughed.

He had to admit he also looked forward to this part. The odd customers who found him cute being unable to look at him when they spoke, their nervous stutters coming out in whispers. Hoseok knew he looked good; and sure, his self-esteem was nowhere to be found sometimes and he craved validation from strangers to feel good. But he knew he looked good. He knew dying his hair a soft pink made his baby face look even more adorable, he knew the contrast between his body and face drove people wild and he loved it.

His problem, he supposed, the reason why he found himself in the arms of strangers every night all came down to one thing. And he wondered if he was too far gone, if he could ever stop. He craved validation, longed for it like a moth longed for a flame.

But he also knew all too well what happened when a moth finally reached a flame.

*********

Minhyuk lived in the richer parts of Queens.

Where graffiti didn’t decorate buildings and the smallest apartment started from 1k and above. Hoseok secretly loathed going there, where he knew most of his night clients lived. Where he knew running into them and their partners while he’s in the company of Jooheon or his other friends was highly likely. Hoseok wondered what his friends would say if they knew, would they understand. Or would they judge him, their feelings toward him tainted forever.

He stepped out of the cab with Jooheon, hurriedly paying the driver and walking inside the building. He scoffed at the abundance of people that were crowded around the lift, knowing all too well they were all headed into the same apartment. Minhyuk’s. Minhyuk was something of a socialite, a literal heir to his father’s company and unafraid to show off his wealth. His parties were lavish and borderline dangerous and he was always in the papers for something or the other. Hoseok knew if he hadn’t met Minhyuk when they were younger, hadn’t killed that spider for him, they would never be friends.

Despite it all though, despite Minhyuk’s flamboyant nature and too loud laugh, he was a good friend. A _great_ friend in fact, and Hoseok felt annoyed he had managed to forget his birthday. Still, he looked down at the present in his hand, the one Jooheon had bought and felt grateful for him.

“He’s so getting kicked out of _this_ apartment too.” Jooheon muttered as they entered the lift, going all the way to the penthouse. Even before they stepped outside, Hoseok could hear, _feel_ , the music pulsate. He wondered just how much of his clients would be inside that building, each looking away every time they caught his eye, for fear of giving themselves away. Hoseok had to admit, he loved having the upper hand, that power over them. Knowing he could ruin a marriage or a relationship with the secrets he possessed. And some of his other clients? Powerful politicians and businessmen, he could ruin completely if he wanted to. He knew of the secrets they whispered on their phone while he sat in the car pretending not to listen. Of the senate’s money laundering and the owner of a popular phone company abusing his workers and paying them hush money every time they tried to expose him.

He loved that power, loved looking at those men directly in the eyes in broad daylight, watching them squirm as they nervously glanced at the person they were with, wondering if their lives was about to be ruined by him. But Hoseok never did expose them and he never would.

He was met with a high stench of alcohol as he stepped into Minhyuk’s apartment. The apartment was usually neat and organised, with high windows and a door that led to the balcony. Minhyuk had designed the interior himself; the walls a blinding white with one wall that held a huge, brown shelf. His TV fitted snuggly inside it and his law books were usually stacked neatly inside too. Minhyuk loved nature and his whole apartment had vases filled with flowers and plants placed at every corner. He’d systematically arranged the chairs, a side table accompanying each one and of course, a plant placed on top of them. Except right now, his apartment looked nothing like Hoseok was used to.

Chairs had been upturned though the party only started an hour ago, a huge stereo had been placed where Minhyuk’s favourite plant used to be, blaring a pop song. People were currently dancing, a mixture of bodies grinding on one another, drinks flying and the poor bartender barely able to keep up. And there was Minhyuk right in the middle of it all, dancing on top of a table, Gucci suit dazzling under dimmed lights. He had a bottle in one hand that he took a swig from every once in a while. He had dyed his hair to a red from the last time Hoseok saw him. It suited him really, currently wavy and all over the place.

He turned around and spotted Hoseok and Jooheon, waving wildly and leaping off the table, nearly crashing into a brunette woman.

“Ya made it!” he slurred, throwing his arms around Hoseok and squeezing him tight.

“I made it! Happy birthday! And how many drinks have you had?”

“Hardly matters. My birthday. I’m allowed to get shit faced.” Minhyuk responded.

“You’re gonna get kicked out of this apartment too, you know that? Happy birthday.” Jooheon said, joining in on the hug.

“I hope so. Then I can move closer to you guys downtown. I hate that you two get to see each other often and I see you twice a month if I’m lucky.” Minhyuk pouted; he never could keep his feelings in when he was drunk.

“If it makes you feel better I only ever see seok when he’s at work. God knows what he gets up to when he’s not working.” Jooheon complained. Hoseok caught the eye of a man he was with last week, one of the rougher ones, the one that claimed over and over that he wasn’t gay even as he pounded into Hoseok. The man flushed and looked away.

“Are we here to talk about me or to celebrate min’s birthday?” Hoseok asked.

Minhyuk clapped his hands with glee, dragging them to the bar and ordering a drink that probably costed as much as Hoseok’s apartment fees.

“I actually have someone I wanna introduce you to Hoseok. He’s into fitness just like you and he’s a dancer, also very cute.”

“Yeah? He here tonight?” Hoseok asked. He knew regardless of if this person was his type, nothing would happen. Hoseok with his secrecy and guarded heart, always wary of people. Besides, how would he explain his second ‘job’ to his partner? How would he break it to them that every night he would lay with a stranger in a strange hotel room; that he got _paid_ for it. One sentence from that and the person would run away from him. No, he was fine alone. He was fine with Jooheon and Minhyuk, fine with working in Pink Lemonade and fine with everything else. A relationship, _love_ would just complicate things.

“Yeah, the one sitting on my favourite couch.” Minhyuk said.

Hoseok looks around until his eyes landed on Minhyuk’s grey couch, the one Minhyuk had physically wrestled a man from taking because he liked it that much. The man sitting on it was quite small, like Hoseok could easily sweep him off his feet without breaking a sweat. He wore a simple black suit, shirt unbuttoned underneath to reveal a simple gold chain. His hair was a jet black, pushed up to reveal his forehead and his brown eyes looked emotionless. He had his legs crossed, and an arm around a woman next to him. He was beautiful, in an ethereal fairy like way. Despite how small he looked, there was something powerful about him too, like he could destroy your life with a simple wave of his hand.  She was conventionally pretty, blonde and blue eyes, ‘thick’ as Jooheon would describe her. Hoseok frowned.

“Dude, he has a girlfriend?” Hoseok said and Minhyuk glanced over. He laughed slightly, drink tipping from his glass.

“No not _him_. Does _he_ look like he’s into fitness to you? Also how do you not know him? That’s Yoo Kihyun! And that’s his _wife_ , Daisy.”

“Should that name mean something to me or?”

“Yoo Kihyun, he’s 26 and the youngest billionaire in the world, owner of like pretty much every single apartment in Queens? I’m pretty sure he owns _your_ apartment. And that’s his wife Daisy, heiress and filthy rich. They married last year, come on seok it was all over the news.”

No wonder the man looked cold, no wonder he looked powerful and untouchable. Hoseok thought he too would look like that if he had that much money at that age.

“Well sorry I don’t keep up with the news.”

“Anyway the one I actually wanted to introduce you to is apparently over there now…”

But Hoseok wasn’t listening. Kihyun’s eyes had flickered to his and he didn’t look away. His eyes were captivating, and Hoseok found himself getting lost, unable to pay attention to anything else. He watched as Daisy whispered something to him, yet Kihyun’s eyes remained on him, as cold and calculating as ever. Then he smirked, so subtle Hoseok wondered if he’d imagined it. He turned to Daisy, placing gentle hands on her thighs.

Hoseok had to finally look away.

He could never have _that_ , that kind of love.

“Min, I’m not really interested in--”

“Ugh I knew you’d do this. Come on! Just meet the guy!” Minhyuk cut in, dragging Hoseok away from the bar before he could get a word in. Hoseok sent a frantic _help me_ look at Jooheon and glared as he turned away, chuckling. When Minhyuk was on a mission, no one could stop him. Minhyuk was right though, the guy he was dragging Hoseok towards was very cute. He was sort of like Hoseok, all contrast with his muscles and baby face, thick lips and wide, innocent eyes. His hair was a soft dark on his head, and he blinked rapidly, like a deer caught in headlights as Minhyuk rushed in front of him, cutting off his conversation.

“Hyunwoo! I’d like you to meet my friend. Hoseok.”

Hoseok almost smacked Minhyuk, noticing the way Kihyun glanced at them from across the room. He blushed a scarlet red as Kihyun raised an eyebrow and mouthed, “ _Hoseok, huh?_ ”

Hoseok quickly looked away, focusing on Hyunwoo’s hand which was currently stretched towards him. Right, he was here with Hyunwoo and even if nothing was going to happen, he wasn’t going to be rude. He gave Hyunwoo a firm handshake, and noted the calluses on his hands, feeling oddly comforted by them. He was suddenly reminded of his father, of his toils on the construction he used to work in before the accident. How he’d sneak Hoseok a chocolate before bed, the calluses on his hands rough against Hoseok’s skin, exaggeratedly putting his fingers to his lips when he stepped back. Of

“Hi, I’m Hyunwoo.” Hyunwoo introduced, smiling gently. Hoseok liked the way his eyes creased when he did so, how his face looked ten times younger.

“I’m Hoseok. But you already know that since this idiot just announced it to you and everyone else in Queens.”

“Hey at least he said your name kinda quiet. I was so scared watching him run over here, what are in those drinks?”

Hoseok laughed, not missing the glint in Minhyuk’s eyes as he looked between them.

“See you have a common thing to roast already this is great. I don’t even mind being the victim. I’ll leave you to it. The bartender’s making moves on Jooheon and if anyone’s gonna do that. It’ll be me.”

Hoseok sighed as he watched him run back, drink spilling everywhere. In an instant he had wrapped himself around Jooheon, no doubt whispering the most filthy things in his ear judging by how flushed the back of Jooheon’s neck seemed to look.

“So… I’ve never seen you around.” Hyunwoo started, steering them away to an empty couch. Hoseok almost cursed. Of course Hyunwoo had to choose the couch right in front of Kihyun’s point of view. What was the guy’s deal anyway? His eyes trailed Hoseok’s every move, and that stupid smirk was still on his face. Maybe he knew Hoseok, he thought with horror. Maybe one of his clients had told Kihyun about him and he wanted a service. But surely he wouldn’t be so open about it, it was quite obvious Daisy was taking notice and Kihyun’s stare was bad enough but Daisy’s glare was starting to make him feel nervous.

“I’m based downtown Queens, that’s probably why. I mostly stick there so I don’t think _you’d_ have any business down there.”

“Hey what’s that meant to mean?”

Hoseok smiled, “your bracelet’s Cartier.”

He remembered his favourite client then. A slightly older man in his forties that always wore a Cartier bracelet. He was gentle and kind, the nicer from his usual list of clients. After he had finished with Hoseok one night, he had told him he was going to try and make things work with his wife. Hoseok didn’t really see _why_ , the man was still a cheater, he had still spent months with Hoseok while his wife stayed home. But Hoseok had nodded, wished him the best.

He never saw that man again.

“Oh. Right. Would that be a problem because I can totally take it off.”

“Nah it’s fine.” Hoseok said with a laugh.

Hoseok could see Kihyun still staring from the corner of his eyes.

“So what’d you do?”

“I’m a tattoo artist, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but Pink Lemonade? We’re based just by the high street, near the ring road.”

“We?”

“Me and that guy Minhyuk’s currently sat on.”

“Oh, so not your boyfriend?”

“If he was I wouldn’t really appreciate Minhyuk shoving his tongue down his throat. No he’s my best friend.”

“That’s good.”

Hoseok couldn’t help his grin, “yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Hoseok considered kissing him, considered ignoring the voice in the back of his mind telling him not to. Just leaning forward, grabbing him by the collar and kissing him. He doubted Hyunwoo would mind, not with the way he was watching Hoseok, eyes lidded and tongue darting out to lick his lips every few seconds. Maybe if Hoseok didn’t carry baggage, didn’t feel like he didn’t deserve to even think about kissing a guy knowing what he did at night. So he turned away, eyes landing once more on Kihyun. He held his breath as Kihyun gave a subtle nod of his head towards the balcony and then stood up.

Maybe Hoseok shouldn’t follow. He should have probably sat there with Hyunwoo, learn more about him, trade gym secrets, _anything_. Instead, he blurted a quick excuse to Hyunwoo and rose, following Kihyun to the balcony. Daisy’s eyes followed him out.

Kihyun was leaning on the fence when Hoseok stepped outside, smoke from his cigarette curling around him and eyes shining under the moonlight. He wasn’t like Hyunwoo; not like the type of guys Hoseok usually went for. But he was intriguing with his cold eyes and he had been staring at Hoseok all night.

“So you came.”

“Yeah, noticed you wouldn’t stop staring.”

Kihyun scoffed, putting out his cigarette and effortlessly chucking it away.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“Yeah? Also noticed your _wife_.” Hoseok said. Kihyun shrugged, stepping closer.

Hoseok was aware that the party raged on inside, that Daisy and Minhyuk and Jooheon were inside and any one of them could step out any moment. Or look through Minhyuk’s windows and easily see them. Whatever he did tonight, he’d have to be careful.

“That hardly matters to you does it?”

“Meaning?”

“Come on now _Hoseok_ , let’s not play games with each other.”

Hoseok stepped back, “I see. Who told you about me?”

“Your friend practically told everyone about you in the room, remember?”

“Bullshit. Who really told you about me?”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really. Just puts me at a disadvantage.”

“How so?”

“You know me and what I do and I don’t know _you_.”

“You don’t know me? Really?”

“I found out your name about 10 minutes ago. But you probably know my favourite colour by now. Not fair don’t you think?”

“It’s green.”

“What?”

“ _My_ favourite colour.”

He said this with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Hoseok didn’t know what it was about him, what felt dangerous about him like a time bomb waiting to burst. But he knew he was starting to feel flushed, and he wanted nothing more than to go back inside the party, talk with Hyunwoo some more and forget all about Yoo Kihyun.

“Why’d you ask me out here?”

“It’s not obvious?”

“ _Oh_. Sorry I’m off the clock tonight I’m here for my best friend. And your wife’s inside.”

“Of course Hoseok I’m not an idiot. Not gonna fuck you against the window for all to see am I?”

_You’d be surprised_. Hoseok wanted to say, remembering one of his clients that insisted on taking Hoseok to his home. And he had fucked Hoseok right there on his lawn, the moon their witness. Hoseok knew his wife was home, could see her silhouette by the window, watching everything, no doubt seething. And he felt so ashamed, for once he’d pushed away from the man early, grabbed his clothes and ran. Hoseok knew he was part of the problem, he knew that while those men were scum, cheaters, he also enabled them to do so. But he also knew he couldn’t stop, also knew if Kihyun asked for his services, despite his cold demeanour, he’d accept.

“Then what--”

“Meet me tomorrow at Skye hotel, you know where it is?”

“Of course.”

“Meet me there at 8pm sharp. Ask for Mr Kim when you get to the front desk.”

And he left without another word. He was confident Hoseok would do as he asked. And Hoseok considered not going, just to spite him. But he knew he would go. This man with the cold eyes had called him gorgeous, _praised_ him and Hoseok liked it. Liked the way the man said his name, wanted to hear him say it while he fucked Hoseok.

He waited for a moment before re-joining the party, this time Daisy’s eyes trailing him.

“Hey!” Hoseok jumped, almost falling into a waiter.

“Minhyuk what the fuck.”

“What were you and Kihyun talking about?”

_Of course_ Minhyuk had noticed. Even in his current state, nothing could ever get past him. He’d definitely make a great lawyer.

“You were right. He does own my apartment building. Heard me talking to Hyunwoo about it and wanted to ask if I had any problems living there.”

Hoseok hated how easily he could lie now. When he was younger his mother always saw through his lies before he even uttered them; now when Hoseok lied, pretended he was fine and he wasn’t hurting, she’d nod and move away from the conversation. Did she really believe him or did she want to? Hoseok didn’t know.

“Really? You were talking about a building instead of flirting? Insufferable. Go back to him.”

And so Hoseok did, smoothly navigating back to Hyunwoo and apologising for rushing off.

And at the end of the night when Jooheon headed up to the bedroom with Minhyuk, leaving Hoseok to go back home on his own, he didn’t mind when Hyunwoo offered to walk him to his taxi. _Liked it_ when Hyunwoo leaned forward and kissed him, the taste of vodka heavy on his tongue. Maybe he should have pushed away, remembered himself and that he couldn’t get into relationships at his current state. But at that moment, with Hyunwoo’s hands tangling in his hair, pushing him against a stranger’s car, Hoseok didn’t care.

*********

Hoseok thought he looked ok enough. He had taken care of his appearance, wearing a loose fitted white shirt and blue jeans and an old pair of trainers he had. He’d left his pink hair curly and had worn his glasses for once. He thought he looked good, but would Kihyun? Hoseok wasn’t used to Kihyun as a client. He was used to men who usually wanted the same thing. For Hoseok to look innocent, like someone they could dominate over. But was that what Kihyun wanted? Was he like the rare ones that wanted someone to tell them what to do? Though judging by how commanding he was when he instructed Hoseok to come, he wasn’t the type.

Hoseok entered Skye hotel at exactly 7:50, Kihyun had instructed him to arrive at 8pm sharp and he had a feeling Kihyun was the type that liked to stick to schedule. The hotel was as luxurious as Hoseok expected it to be, from the mahogany tiles and brown, luxurious wallpaper. A huge desk held the receptionist and Hoseok walked up to it and asked for Mr Kim like Kihyun instructed. The receptionist raised an eyebrow, but kept quiet as she handed Kihyun a key card and instructed him to take the lift straight to the penthouse suite.

Hoseok was used to the kind of looks he always got from receptionist who knew exactly what he was here for. He used to hate it, but now? Well, they had their job and he had his.

He took the lift, checking his watch and rushing out to stand by the door. 7:59pm.

He knocked and stepped back, and at exactly 8pm, Kihyun opened the door. He looked good. His hair was a tousled mess and his robe slightly exposed his chest. He held his trademark smirk as he beckoned Hoseok in.

Hoseok had to admit, out of all the hotel rooms he had been privy too, this was the best. It had a low ceiling that made Hoseok feel insignificantly smaller and a double king sized bed placed by the brown wall. The closet was to the right, long mirrors fitted to the doors, exposing all angles of Hoseok. Hoseok stepped further in, opening the door to another section of the suite, a living room area. It held a grand piano and a fake fireplace, cream couches placed by a round table. The windows were wide open, giving a view of the night, of the moon that hung in the sky. From here, Hoseok thought he could reach out and pluck it from the sky, touch the stars.

“You own this building?” he asked, coming back into the bedroom.

“Impressed?”

“It’s nice.” He admitted.

Kihyun smiled, walking closer. Usually, Hoseok knew what came next, expected it even. But he never felt this _nervous_ before. Never felt like a prey waiting for its predator to pounce. For someone that stood shorter than him, Kihyun sure held a lot of power.

“So…” Hoseok said, trailing off as Kihyun stepped impossibly closer.

He waited for the blindfold, for Kihyun to tell him to close his eyes. _Anything_ than stand there, watching him, as if dissecting him piece by piece. His nerves seemed to make Kihyun feel good and Hoseok finally got it. Kihyun was one of those. The type that liked to completely be in control and liked making people squirm under their gaze. Well, Hoseok could play into that If Kihyun wanted. He looked down, and almost gasped seeing that Kihyun was already stroking his dick under his robe.

“Take everything off. Slowly.” Kihyun finally spoke.

It’d been a long time since Hoseok did a strip tease and he wondered how he could make it so that Kihyun was pleased. Usually his clients ripped his clothes off themselves, desperate for a release, to fuck Hoseok until he saw stars. They never wanted to take things slow.

Hoseok pushed his hair back from his face, watching Kihyun’s nostrils flare from that simple movement. Then, he moved on to his shirt, fingers working at the buttons until his shirt pooled around his feet. Kihyun grabbed him by the neck then, mouth biting hard on his nipples, earning a loud gasp from Hoseok.

“Keep stripping.” Kihyun whispered against his chest, tongue playing with Hoseok’s nipples. This was new, this was really new and Hoseok didn’t know what to do. He was used to the roughness, to getting more pain than pleasure from his clients. They didn’t nib at his nipples, they didn’t care to make _him_ feel good.

He did as Kihyun told though, awkwardly shrugging out of his tight jeans and trainers until he was standing with just his boxers and socks on. Kihyun stepped back then, circled around him and traced all his tattoos with his tongue. He licked up his arm, following the snake and landing on his shoulder, gently nibbling at his neck from there. He pushed Hoseok backwards until he was falling on the plush bed and Kihyun was sitting on top of him, bare dick grinding against Hoseok’s thigh.

“Touch yourself.” He said, slowly opening his robe and dropping it over the bed.

Hoseok moved to take his boxers off and Kihyun grabbed his hands, “no. with your boxers on.”

Hoseok closed his eyes, hands trailing down into his boxers. He sharply exhaled as he realised how hard he was already, precum leaking out and forming a wet spot he didn’t notice before. He brought two fingers into his mouth, licked them nice and slow before palming his dick, moans bursting out of his mouth before he could help it. It’d been a while since he did this, got _himself_ off, in front of someone else too.

“Open your eyes, wanna see you.”

Hoseok slowly opened them, and almost came right there. Kihyun’s eyes were lidded, pupils blown and hand working steadily to stroke his dick. He sucked his other finger, still grinding on Hoseok and something about him, how his cold persona was gone, replaced by this Kihyun, made Hoseok feel special, validated. Like this version of Kihyun came out _because_ of him.

“Got such a pretty mouth.” Kihyun whispered, moving forward and lightly grabbing Hoseok’s nipples.

“Fuck, Kihyun.”

“Who told you you could call me Kihyun.” Kihyun asked, fingers squeezing Hoseok’s nipples tighter.

“Fuck.”

“Sir. You call me sir.”

“Yeah okay. Sir.”

“Stop touching, open your mouth.” Kihyun commanded and Hoseok did as he asked immediately, though his dick throbbed in response. This was what Hoseok did best, taking others, making others feel satisfied, doing whatever it took to do so. Kihyun moved until his dick was lined with Hoseok’s mouth and then he moved. Slowly at first, then faster, until Hoseok’s mouth felt stretched and his throat felt deprived of air. It felt good, even better with the grunts that came from Kihyun’s mouth, his chants of _fuck, fuck, fuck_ like it was the only word he remembered.

“Wanna cum in your mouth.” Kihyun said, breathing heavy and laboured. Hoseok hummed in response, heart swelling at how Kihyun’s dick throbbed in his mouth as if the hum was about to send him over the edge.

Kihyun pulled back, panting and moving to tear Hoseok’s boxers off, slowly.

“K- _Sir_ , please--”

“Impatient?”

“Fuck, just.”

“Want me to fuck you then cum in your mouth?”

“ _Please._ ”

“Close your eyes. On your front.”

This was the part Hoseok was familiar with, closing his eyes and waiting to be taken. He turned, shoving his face into a pillow and closing his eyes shut. He waited, heard as Kihyun fitted the condom and splattered on the lube and then he was fucking him, rough and fast from the start. He heard Kihyun’s grunts of effort, felt his soft hands grab on to his waist as he moved, relentlessly fast.

Hoseok couldn’t help his screams in response, something the pillow couldn’t muffle. It’d been a long time since he felt pleased and pleasured with his clients and even though Kihyun wasn’t praising him like they always did, he felt good. Felt happy that the sharp noises coming from Kihyun’s mouth was because of _him_.

He could feel Kihyun getting closer, hear his breathing become more laboured until only the sound of him exhaling mixed with Hoseok’s screams filled the room.

“Turn around. Open your mouth. Keep your eyes closed.” Kihyun instructed, pulling back Hoseok complied. He could hear Kihyun stroking his dick in a fluid motion as he stood over him, and then he felt it, hot cum raining down on to his face, dropping on his tongue, dripping down his neck. He heard Kihyun’s loud grunt of pleasure and intakes of breaths and then Kihyun was panting, slowly getting his breath back.

“Swallow.” He said and Hoseok brought his fingers to his face, cleaned as much as he could and licked slowly, knowing Kihyun was watching. Then he swallowed, tried not to grimace at the salty fluid and opened his mouth when he was done to show Kihyun. He hated swallowing, but he wasn’t about to tell Kihyun that.

Now came the part he usually hated, opening his eyes and having to stare at a man who he just cheated with. A man with a bride he just married last year that Hoseok just played a part in fucking over. He opened his eyes to find Kihyun on the far end of the bed, staring at him with a soft smile. He looked spent, tired and happy. Hoseok wondered how he could look like that, how knowing that his wife was at home, could he look so carefree and happy to have fucked someone else in a hotel suite.

“You did _good_.” Kihyun said after a while of watching Hoseok.

“Yeah?”

“Hmm.”

“Should I leave?” Hoseok asked. He was used to them hastily dressing up, running out of the hotel room. They didn’t look him in the eyes and tell him he did good.

“No. Stay here a bit.”

“Um. Doing what?”

Did Kihyun want another round, wanted to fuck him again when he felt aroused enough to do so? Because that would be a first. Hoseok would be lying if the thought didn’t make him excited.

“Sleep, watch TV, order food, I don’t know. Just. Stay.”

Hoseok was puzzled by that and Kihyun’s eyes gave nothing away. Why wasn’t he rushing home to be with Daisy? Did he feel guilt?

“Okay.” Hoseok answered. He got up, noticing the way Kihyun watched him walk into the bathroom. He cleaned himself up as much as he could then went back out to retrieve his clothes before sitting down on the bed. If Kihyun didn’t mind he might as well order good food while he was here. He looked through the menu before calling for service and ordering a heaping platter of steak and chips, ice cream for dessert and white wine. Kihyun finally got up, cleaning himself off in the bathroom before emerging and bringing out his laptop.

“So… um. Why’d you want me to stay?”

“You feel uncomfortable?”

“No. I just, usually. You’d have left by now? You’re kinda breaking convention.”

“I’m not forcing you to stay.” Kihyun pointed out with a shrug.

“Oh no I’m staying. I’m getting food out of this.”

“What? My dick wasn’t enough for you?”

Hoseok bit back a laugh. “Your dick’s the reason I’m hungry sir.”

Kihyun groaned, softly banging the table that held his laptop. “Fuck Hoseok, you can’t just say something like that so casually. And please, call me Kihyun when we’re not…”

“Right. Kihyun.”

“And I hate to cut this short but I do have an important file I have to look through, so if you could just--”

“Shut up and not disturb you? Of course.”

Hoseok waited in silence for his food to arrive, a heavy feeling sinking in the pits of his stomach, like something was about to happen. He startled as Kihyun’s phone rang and he absentmindedly put it on speaker.

“Mr _Kim_. Your wife’s on her way up.”

Hoseok was on his feet instantly, shoving on his trainers. Kihyun closed his laptop, rushing towards the door.

“You can’t leave!”

“What? I’m pretty sure that’s the worst thing you could suggest right now. Your wife’s on her way up!”

“Exactly! And there’s only one lift you can take to the penthouse suite. You’ll run into her regardless!”

“Stairs?” Hoseok asked.

“None.” Kihyun answered, chewing on his bottom lip. Despite it all, he looked calm and collected and Hoseok wondered how he could maintain his composure when he was freaking out. Daisy would kill him, from the looks she gave him at the party she wasn’t the type to be fucked over. She would kill him right there in that hotel and it wouldn’t matter because she was a fucking heiress and would probably get away with it. And Kihyun would move on with his life, all thoughts of Hoseok forgotten in an instant. Only Hoseok would be affected by this.

If Daisy didn’t kill him, news would certainly get out. His friends would find out _Jooheon_ and _Minhyuk_ would find out. And _Hyunwoo_? Hyunwoo who had kissed him passionately and given Hoseok his number. Hyunwoo who he had been talking to since yesterday, who he actually really liked. He’d look at him with disgust.

“Fuck.” Hoseok said.

And he didn’t even get his steak and chips.

**Author's Note:**

> oof hoseok's bout to get it - let's all hope one day he'll get his steak and chips.  
> i can't believe me, user wonhee, is actually writing slow burn and angst. this is gonna be a long ride.  
> comments always welcomed as usual <33
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wdymkiho) & [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/wdymkiho)<3


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